I don't know what to say to myself instead of "I'm fine".
I'm trying to be a good girl that is good. (this is considered as rubbish)
Trying to be a good child of my papa and mama, trying to be a good sister for my younger bro.
Trying to be a good and noty mui mui to my gor gor.
Trying to be more kind to my admirers. Though I didn't say anything, didn't say "yes", but you're good. Just I'm not the one for you. Okay? Study!
Trying my best to be an understanding friends, who I really appreciate very much and love.
Trying to get my mood better and better whenever I get into a mad, or during the girl's sickness.
Trying to save my body from all those diseases, pain and whatever.
All my tries are just tries. I might say I'm not a perfect girl, not a good girl that may have all the good things inside me.
I may have an attractive outlook, which it's just a LIE.
I may get a good result, which many think that I'm a smart student, in fact, I'm NOT.
I may treat everyone good, but it's just I THOUGHT I did.
I may say something in a much high pitch, which ppl think I'm scolding? though in fact I'm NOT.
I guess I've did something that's not really good to my friends, which I NEVER noticed it.
I guess when I say something from my heart, which I say what my brain asks, it's NOT a right thing. sometimes it's just too harsh?
All of the above MAY and GUESS of myself, I think all are true. Anyway. I don't think I did anything wrong, or bad attitude or what. I'm quite sad sometimes that my friends sometime do not know me well, after one year +. I totally understanding KS's post. Yeah, she's right.
Gosh, I guess I do not have to change. It's me of my own style. I don't think it harms anyone. Sometimes what I speak out is just a joke. Sometimes I said it's just because I was moody. or maybe I was too tired and it was nonsense to me. Whatever.
I just hope someone may understand me, don't have to be too well. Just know what am I doing, know what am I saying. I don't need any MISUNDERSTAND anymore.
Come to this post. I may say "speechless". I maybe will leave. Maybe will stay. Depends. There's nth much left for me to stay. Neither them, nor him. I've really disappointed of all of them. No, I should say, I've really given up of myself, which is a very... nonsense, not understanding girl. I've totally broken up my life, my relationships. Damn stupid useless girl I am. Yeah, I am.
I just have to continue my life without any reason, without any destiny, which I've lost it long time ago.
